The Incredibly Silly Adventures of Ginny Weasley
by Valeoftheanduin
Summary: A completely ludicrious tale of the misadventures of one Ginny Weasley as caused by a perfectly normal muggle book, and the terribly dashing Hermione Granger. F/F slash.
1. And so it begins

Title : The Incredibly Silly Adventures of Ginny Weasley & the Perfectly Normal 

Muggle Book.

Chapter One.

Author : Valar.

Disclaimer: I own nothing : (

I am making no money from this

Etc, so forth and so on.

Rating : PG

Pairing : Hermione/ Ginny.

How terribly cliché ' thought Ginny as she looked out her dorm room window, at the dark and stormy night. She rather expected to see Heathcliff come dashing across the school grounds, searching for his lost love. 

Hmm, perhaps she really had better stop reading Hermione's ridiculous muggle books. 

'In fact' she thought, she probably wouldn't have even considered the weather to be that cliche at all had she not been reading the silly things. 

But Darn it! They just reminded her so much of the sweet, adorable 6th year, and well they kind of even smelt like her...... well at least Ginny thought so, as she held the aged book up to her young nose and inhaled once more before drifting off into a rather exciting dream filled sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Morning Hermione" said Ginny, smiling rather inanely, as she slid into the vacant seat next to the 6th year. 

"Morn'n Ninny" replied the older girl, smiling around an awfully large mouthful of breakfast, and sounding altogether rather Ron like. 

Ginny didn't mind though, actually she thought that Hermione's food filled cheeks, and the small bits of egg stuck to the coners of her mouth made her look very distinguished and terribly mature. 

So Ginny promptly decided then and there to spend the rest of her meal staring at Hermione's exquisite mouth.

Unfortunately poor Ginny had hardly even got in a whole minute of 'Hermione-mouth-gazing' before she was rudely interrupted by cruel laughter. She looked up to see Malfoy and his two little minions pointing at her 'Mione and cackling there heads off.

"Well, well Granger" snared Malfoy "Eating for two now are we?!"

"Hey!" yelled Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny, Fred, Dean, Seamus, George and well basically the whole of the Gryffindor table, though Ginny liked to think she had yelled the loudest! 

Malfoy just laughed even harder.

"You know what" Hermione said standing up and pointing her wand at Malfoy "SCREW YOU!!!!!!!!!" 

Unfortunately Hermione still had a rather large mouthful of food in her mouth, and her sentence came out more like "Alakazam" . 

Suddenly there was a bright pink flash, an obscenely loud pop and the room filled with a rather foul smelling smoke. 

"Oops" said Hermione, rather quietly.

The smoke quickly faded (though the smell decided it might as well stick around for the next 12 or so weeks) and a collective gasp sounded across the room - where Malfoy had been standing there was now a very big, very purple, eight eyed flightless jungle bat.

"Brilliant!" roared Hagrid as he came racing across the Great hall with what looked an extremely large butterfly net. 

"Been wanting one of 'em fer ages" He told Harry, Ron and Hermione as he scooped up what used to be Malfoy, he then gave Hermione a fond smile and left whistling a jaunty tune. 

"Alright Hermione!" Ron smiled, and patted his friend on the back, while shaking his head and managing to look utterly confused at the same time.

Ginny simply smiled 'My hero' she thought, 'My Heathcliff!' she sighed.

Suddenly the bell for the first class of the day rang, knocking most of the students out of there stupor, as they picked themselves up and grudgingly headed of for class - most giving Hermione a good old slap on the back as they filed out of the hall.

Hermione too started to head of, filling her pockets with a couple of dozen bacon strips to eat on the way to her Arithmancy lesson, when something suddenly occurred to her. 

She turned back and smiled affectionately at Ginny. 

"Hey Gin" she said, " I was telling Lavender about that book I lent you, she thought it sounded terribly romantic or something.... Anyway I'll get it back off you after classes shall I?!" She smiled once more and left.

Suddenly Ginny's entire world fell apart.

TBC............


	2. That Damned muggle book

For Disclaimers etc see first part.  
  
  
  
  
"So Miss Weasley", came a cold, malevolent voice from behind her. "You are somehow exempt from morning lessons now, are you? Please, do tell me what makes YOU so special."  
  
"Ahhh....." Ginny stammered, turning to face a rather pleased looking Potions master.  
  
"Well then, it would appear that you are at least 3 and 3/4 minutes late for your first class." Snape said as he folded his arms across his chest and began smirking in a most malicious manner. "500 points from Gryfindor!" he snapped.  
  
This at least had the effect of dragging poor Ginny out of her earth shattering haze.  
"WHAT!" she screamed. "500 hundred points?..... But the term has barely even started - we don't even have 500 points" she spluttered.  
  
"Now, now Miss Weasley, didn't your mother ever teach you manners? Its not nice to talk back to your elders - 500 points from Gryfindor!"   
  
"?!....." Ginny didn't even bother to reply to that one.  
  
"Tut tut" Snape smirked at her "500 points from Gryfindor for breathing, Miss Weasley." He then turned and merrily skipped out of the Great Hall, cackling happily all the way to his dungeon, looking altogether more cheerful than Ginny could ever remember seeing him.  
  
"Well, Damn!" exclaimed Ginny as she turned and raced towards her dorm room.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
"Phew" sighed Ginny as she collapsed, exhausted on to her four poster.  
  
'Oh well I'm only 5 and a bit minutes late now' she thought happily as she glanced at the muggle wrist watch that Harry had given her for Christmas last year. 'Well, at least that's what I think it says........'   
  
'Damn muggle contraptions!' she pouted.  
  
However Ginny soon remembered why exactly it was that she was late for class. She stoped pouting.  
  
The 5th year rolled over, and drew the silly muggle book out from under her pillows.  
She rolled back over, comfortably settling herself in the middle of the bed, then opened the book, with a rather large sigh, and an increasingly dismal look on her face.  
  
She slowly examined the numerous dribble marks, caused by constantly hugging the book to herself as she slept; the 'kissage' marks, in various shades of lipstick and lip gloss, scattered randomly throughout; and finally she looked at the 'crowning glory' - the pretty little picture she had doddle at the front of the book of herself and Hermione as Cathy and Heathcliff.   
Hmmm, Nope! She definitely couldn't give this back now.  
  
"Damn muggle contraptions!" She pouted once again' as she slowly extracted herself from the bed.  
  
Well, Ginny decided, this certainly called for a whole lot of research - she was just going to have to magic everything all better again.  
Now all she had to do was get out of the rest of her classes.  
  
Still they didn't call her a Weasley for nothing, she thought to herself, grinning for the first time in small while, as she came up with a rather Ron like plan.  
  
She quickly grabbed a scrap of parchment and a quill, and began to scribble a quick note.  
Surely Ron wouldn't mind if she borrowed Pigwigeon for a little bit. No in fact, she thought, he'd probably be quite proud.  
  
Professor Trelawney, (she wrote)  
  
Sorry I haven't turned up for today's lesson yet, but I awoke this morning from the most distressing dream.  
  
You see I dreamt that while attending your class, a part of the ceiling collapsed ontop of me, and crushed me, slowly and painfully, to death.  
  
I think therefore that you will be able to understand my absence.  
Also it would really help if you could let the other professors know that I will not be attending their lessons either.  
  
Yours in everlasting gratitude,  
  
Ginny Weasley.  
  
Ps : This vision seriously shows the vast improvement I have made in your class this year.  
- That's got to be worth at least 1500 points for Gryfindor wouldn't you say?!  
  
  
TBC.... 


	3. A silver lining

For disclaimers etc see part 1   
  
  
"Hmmph" Ginny sighed, loudly and dramatically, for about the 43rd time since she had entered the library that day.  
  
'This so isn't working' she thought to herself, as she continued to draw little love hearts around her and Hermione's intertwined names.  
  
"Ohhhh pretty!" she smiled, as she looked lovingly at the perfect piece of doodle art she had just created.  
  
"Ohhhhh NO!" she frowned, as she finally realised exactly what she had just been doodling on.  
  
"Hmmph!" she sighed for the 44th time , as she proceeded to bang her head against the edge of the wooden table.  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
"Ouch" Ginny whimpered as she rubbed her forehead once more, before sitting down in a small secluded alcove just outside the school building.  
  
The library simply wasn't going to do for research. It was far to distracting - the whole place reminded the young 5th year of her intellectually dashing hero. Even just the smell of thousands of aged, dusty tomes was enough to send her into drool induced daydreams......  
  
No thought Ginny, as she focused on reading 'How to Remove Annoying Spots, and Other Such Marks' by a Mrs MacBeth, her freezing cold, wind swept alcove would just have to do.  
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Well' reflected Ginny, as she picked herself up from her cold, cramped spot and began to head in to the Great Hall for lunch, She certainly knew all there was to know about killing royalty, and removing all the evidence. Unfortunately she hadn't spilt any blood onto the silly book, well at least not yet......  
  
"Drat" she exclaimed grumpily.  
She had wasted away half the day, and she still wasn't any closer to fixing her problem.  
  
She began to slowly trudge back inside when she heard a merry " 'Lo Ginny!"  
  
Turning around she noticed Hagrid making his way across the grounds, dragging his new flightless jungle bat behind him.  
  
"Jus tak'n li'l Cuddles 'ere fer a quick walk" he shouted fondly to her.  
  
Ginny looked down to the obviously unhappy animal, then back up to Hagrid, and gave the giant man a very big, very happy smile.  
  
'Well' thought Ginny, perhaps the day wasn't that bad after all.  
  
As she headed into the Great hall for another session of 'Hermione-mouth-gazing', there was a definite skip to her walk.  
  
  
TBC........ 


	4. Green is a very nice colour

For disclaimers and so forth please see part 243.  
  
  
Ginny let out a long, low growl as she entered the Great Hall. Ron had just taken the last seat anywhere near Hermione, in fact Ron had just taken the seat right next to Hermione.  
Ron had just taken her seat Damn it !   
  
Ginny continued to growl, though a bit more quietly, as she seated herself next to a chattering group of 1st years.  
  
So instead of spending her lunch hour happily 'Hermione-mouth-gazing' Ginny had to settle for grumpily scowling at her brother.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The sound of bench's scraping back rang out across the hall, as the bell for the first afternoon lessons rang.   
"Finally" sighed Ginny sulkily, as she watched everyone start to file out of the room.  
  
She felt completely and utterly ill, she decided. Having to spend her entire lunch time watching her brother pat Hermione on the shoulder, watch him lean in to whisper something to her, and watch him simply stare at her with silly little googley-hazed eyes was SO not on her list of really fun things to do.  
Damn! Didn't he realise that he looked like a right prize pillick.  
  
"Hmmm" Ginny whispered thoughtfully to herself, trying to remember if she had noticed any books on voodoo in the library...........  
  
However she was soon knocked out of her pensive state by a gentle tap on her shoulder. She looked up into the most gentle coffee coloured eyes she had ever known.  
"Hi" she slowly exhaled.  
"Hey Gin." The owner of the eyes replied fondly, as she bent her head to rest on Ginny's and placed her arm around her shoulders in a quick hug.  
"See you later, okay." Hermione said quickly, before heading off ( munching on a bacon strip she had pulled from one of her robe pockets ) to catch up with Harry and Ron.  
  
"Wow!" gasped Ginny breathlessly as she stared out the door her 'Mione had just left through, with what seemed suspiciously like a silly little googley-hazed look on her face.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
A strange thumping noise, and a quiet cackling soon penetrated Ginny's blissful trance.  
She turned to notice a gleeful potions master skipping her way.  
  
'Uh-Uh!' thought Ginny, 'No way is THAT going to happen again !'  
'Nope.' She decided; Harry, Ron and Hermione might be really good, but no matter how many times they saved the world this year, they simply weren't going to be making up any more than 1500 points for Gryffindor !  
  
Ginny quickly picked herself up and raced out the hall.  
  
"Drat!" exclaimed the potions master disappointedly as his skip suddenly turned into a very melancholy walk.  
  
TBC....... 


	5. Return of the Damned muggle book

Disclaimers are written in invisible ink.  
  
  
  
'Hmmm' considered Ginny thoughtfully as she came to a sudden halt outside the girls bathroom.  
  
She looked from the room to the silly muggle book in her hands, and back to the room again.  
  
'No....' she finally sighed resignedly.  
'Been there, done that.....'  
  
"Damn Harry!" she growled to herself.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Hey Gin." a soft sweet voice floated across to her.  
  
She turned around.  
  
"Oh, Hi Hermione" she smiled, as she clasped the silly book in front of her chest, and stared rather stupidly at her sweet angel.  
  
"Um, ....... Hello Ginny?!" Harry stated, giving her a quick wave, and a questioning look.  
  
"Hmmm ...... what?! ..... oh" replied Ginny rather distractedly.  
"HiHarryandRon" she rushed quickly so she could go back to staring at Hermione.  
  
'Hmmph ...... girls!' thought Harry raising one eyebrow and shaking his head.  
  
'Wonder what's for tea?!' thought Ron dreamily.  
'Hope it's not mashed potatoes again .......' he sighed.  
  
'Hmmph ...... Weasley's!' reconsidered Harry suddenly.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Oh, is that my book ?" Hermione inquired advancing suddenly on Ginny.  
  
"WHAT ?!" Ginny screamed, quickly coming to her senses and hiding the book behind her back.  
  
'Idiot !' she mentally slapped herself.  
  
Hermione came to a sudden halt.  
"That was my book wasn't it ?" she gently asked Ginny, giving her a quizzical look.  
  
"NO !" shouted Ginny, far to loudly.  
  
"Yes it was." replied Harry staring rather intently at her.  
  
"Noooo it wass-n't !" replied Ginny rather testily, barley restraining herself from poking her tongue out at the boy wonder.  
  
"What was it then ?!" asked Harry knowing he was right.  
After all he was always right. Wasn't he ........ ?!  
  
Hermione gave him a terse look.  
"Harry !" she replied sharply.  
  
"Hmmph." Harry exclaimed grumpily.  
  
"I'm sorry Ginny." Hermione said gently, "I thought that was my book......"  
"Sooo what was it anyway ?" she questioned much more kindly, well at least Ginny thought so anyway.  
  
"Ah ..... umm ..... it's ...... a ....." stammered the flustered Gryffindor.  
  
'Hmmph ! She'll probably say it's her transfiguration homework, or some other stupidly unbelievable thing.' thought Harry moodily.  
  
"Ahh ... it's umm ..... OH ! It's my transfiguration homework." smiled Ginny ecstatically, rather pleased with her suddenly brilliant idea.  
"Yeah ahh, we had to change an ahh .... an egg into a book, yeah ! that's it."  
  
'Hmmph' thought Harry 'I knew I was always right !'  
  
"Ohhhh" exclaimed Hermione rather excitedly.  
"Wow ! We never got to do that. How terribly intriguing. How did you do it ? Can I see ......" she babbled, once again advancing on poor Ginny.  
  
"Ahh ...... er ....... Damn !" mumbled Ginny, quickly backing up.  
"Ohh look, a house elf !" she suddenly exclaimed, pointing in a very far of direction.  
  
"What ? Oh ! Got to dash Gin, see you later. Come on Harry !" Hermione yelled, rushing off, dragging a rather unhappy looking Harry behind her.  
  
Ginny smirked.  
  
"Ahh Ron ?" she questioned, steeping up to her brother and waving him out of his dessert filled daze.  
  
"Huh ? What ?" he said.  
  
She pointed at his two friends quickly rushing down the corridor, well one was rushing at least she grinned.  
  
"Oh ! Cheers Gin." He replied happily, giving her a fond pat on the head as he rushed to catch up with his two classmates.  
  
Ginny frowned.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Stupid, dumb idea !' thought Ginny grumpily.  
  
She had spent almost the entire afternoon trying to turn the silly book into everything from a pair of galoshes to a four horned African tree slug. Unfortunately nothing would stay transfigured for very long.  
Damn ! she really should have paid more attention to her lessons.  
In fact the only thing she could get the silly book to stay as was a very gaudy, very hot pink lava lamp, and how was she going to explain wanting to keep that in her dorm room ?!  
  
"Grrrggghhhh" Ginny growled, very annoyed.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
'Right' thought Ginny, all she had to do was get through the common room to the stairs which led to the girls dorm, then she was home free !  
  
She had, she though, rather successfully avoided Hermione all night - she wasn't about to ruin all of her hard work now.  
  
Nope. She'd just wait till Hermione was distracted then she'd race through, and finally be able to get some sleep! She'd fix everything tomorrow, she decided exhaustedly.  
  
'Brilliant.' She thought as she watched Hermione reach down and pick up a library book from the extremely large pile in front of her.  
Ha ! She could walk slowly across the room on her hands, while singing 'Yankee doodle dandy' at the top of her lungs, and the 6th year wouldn't even notice.  
  
She quietly headed for the stairs.  
  
"Grrggghhh !"   
She stopped halfway to her destination.  
Ron was staring stupidly at her 'Mione again.  
  
'Right' She thought, as she headed off for the stairs once again, she was going to have to have a little discussion with her brother first thing tomorrow about his silly little obsession !  
  
TBC........ 


	6. Ron becomes colic

Disclaimers are currently striking - they're aking for a 3.5% pay rise.  
  
  
  
Ginny shivered, she was unnaturally cold.  
Well at least her dream self was unnaturally cold she reasoned, because on some level Ginny knew that she was dreaming.  
  
She hugged her arms about herself in an attempt to warm up, as she surveyed the dark, dingy room she found herself in.  
  
Looking around she noticed that she was standing in the middle of what appeared to be a very small bedroom. A rickety old bed took up most of the room, and the rest seemed to be filled with bookcases and bare stone walls. Ginny also noticed, as she inhaled the dank musty air, that there seemed to be a slight hint of heather about.  
  
However Ginny's quick inspection was soon interrupted by a light tapping noise coming from behind her.  
She turned around to notice a very transparent looking Hermione hovering in mid air outside her window.  
  
Ginny looked to the ghostly Hermione, then back to the gothic style room, and back to the window again.  
"No fair !" she exclaimed disappointedly, as she crossed the room.  
"I wanted to be Cathy damn it !"  
  
"Hey Hermione" said Ginny resignedly , as she opened the window.  
  
"Oh Ginny, good !" replied Hermione.  
"I was getting quite cold out there."  
  
"So ..... ahh ...... You want to come in or something ?" asked Ginny, as she sat down on a small wooden window seat.  
  
"Oh, no thanks. I really don't want to trouble you too much." Hermione answered.  
"Actually" she continued "I just came by to get my book back."  
  
"Arrrggggggghhh !!!" Ginny screamed frustradily, as she suddenly sat up, back in her own dorm room bed.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Right' Ginny thought, as she looked at her muggle wrist watch, 'If I have to be up at 4:15am then so does Ron!'  
  
She quickly leapt from her bed and started to skip towards the boys dorm room, quietly cackling as she went.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"mmmph" muttered Ron annoyed.  
  
"Ron wake up !" Ginny whispered in his ear, for what seemed like the 500th time.  
  
"Mmmph. G'way 'arry, I'll get up tomorrow." Ron grumbled, rolling over and going back to sleep.  
  
"Damn it !" cursed Ginny annoyed.  
  
"Fine then !" she smirked evilly as she began to poke him.  
  
poke.  
  
poke.  
  
poke.  
  
"Ow" Ron muttered swatting the air.  
  
Ginny snickered and continued to poke him.  
  
"Okay, okay I'm up" sighed Ron sitting up and rubbing his eyes.  
  
He shoke his head and turned to focus on Ginny.  
  
"Gin ?!" He asked startled.  
"What's the matter ? Is everything alright ?" He quickly questioned.  
"You haven't been killing chickens again have you ?!" he asked her suspiciously.  
  
"Ron !" Ginny exclaimed offended, as she poked him extremely hard.  
  
"Ow ! ......... Sorry" he mumbled.  
  
"We need to talk" she told him quietly.  
"I'll meet you down in the common room."  
  
"Gin, its um ....... well its some ungodly hour in the morning. Can't it wait ?"  
  
"Now !" Ginny replied as she turned and walked out the door.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Okay Gin, whats the matter ?" asked Ron gently, as he sat down in the arm chair across from his sister.  
  
"Umm ......" Ginny mumbled as she stared into the roaring fire beside her.  
  
"Here, maybe this will help" said Ron, as he pulled his wand from his robe pocket and conjured up two mugs of hot chocolate.  
  
"How ...... ?!" asked Ginny, rather startled, as she gladly excepted the steaming drink.  
  
"Hermione." smirked Ron.  
  
"Grrrgggghhhh" muttered Ginny, rembering why she was annoyed with her brother.  
  
"Ahh Ron, about Hermione ...... don't you think that you should ahh ....."   
  
"What?" Ron questioned gently.  
"Ginny I'm your brother, you can tell me anything" he smiled softly at her.  
  
"Okay." she stated.  
"I really think that you need to get over this ludicrous crush you've got on Hermione. I mean you just look like a complete and utter pilick, and have you even considered how it makes poor 'Mione feel ?!"  
  
"Gosh Gin, don't hold back on my account" Ron smirked, shaking his head affectionately at his sister.  
  
"Well, I ah ....." Ginny blushed.  
  
"Ginny I don't like Hermione, well not in that way" he told her kindly.  
  
"Ohh ......" Ginny replied quietly.  
  
"Actually, I don't really like any girls" Ron continued, though he was speaking more to himself than Ginny.  
  
"OHH !" exclaimed Ginny, a little too loudly.  
"Ahh, its okay if you like boys Ron, I mean your still my brother and all ..... I'll still love you." Ginny quickly rushed.  
  
"What ?!" Ron questioned suddenly.  
"Ohh! No I didn't mean that Ginny." He replied.  
"No, I just meant that I don't really like anyone - girls or boys."  
  
"Ohh, I see." Said Ginny, not seeing at all.  
  
"Okay then" said Ginny as a thought suddenly came to her.  
"Why have you been staring stupidly at Hermione then if you don't like her ?!" She accused.  
  
"Umm ...... Gin, she wears a St Christopher medallion, that's what I've been staring at." he told her.  
"It's so beautiful" he continued, and Ginny could have swore she saw tears in his eyes.  
  
"Ohh, I see." She said once again, not seeing at all.  
  
Ron smirked at his sister, she was just too cute sometimes.  
  
"Gin, I want to be a monk when I leave Hogworts." he told her.  
  
"WHAT ?!" She yelled.  
"But Ron we're not even Colic." She stated.  
  
"Catholic Ginny, you mean we're not Catholic." he smiled warmly at her.  
"Its what I want to do Ginny ......" he continued "Can you except that ?" he asked her nervously.  
  
"Yeah sure Ron" she smiled lovingly at her brother.  
"I think you'll make a really great Colic, but ahhh I wouldn't tell mum for a while."  
  
"Thanks Gin, that means a lot." he replied as he placed his empty mug beside the chair, and stood stretching.  
"Now I'm going to bed." He said.  
"Night Gin."  
  
"Night" she replied as she watched him walk towards the boys dorm room stairs.  
  
However just as he was about to start climbing to his room he turned and looked at his sister.  
"Tell her Gin." he said quietly.  
  
"What ?" Ginny questioned.  
  
"Hermione." He smiled at her.  
"Tell her how you feel, she loves you Gin."  
  
"WHAT ?! How did ...... How do ...." she spluttered.  
  
"God told me." he stated as he turned and walked up the staircase.  
  
"?!" said Ginny.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ginnnnnny!" a sweet voice and a hand waving in front of her face broke through her shocked haze.  
  
She looked up to see Hermione looking at her questioningly.  
  
"You alright Gin ?" Hermione asked quietly.  
  
"Ron's a saint .... " she told her angel.  
  
Hermione burst out laughing.  
  
"Ron's very sweet, but I wouldn't go that far Gin !" she replied.  
  
"And your not the hero" she continued, still rather dazed.  
"I thought I was Cathy, but I'm not ....." She said as she shook her head slowly, then picked herself up and walked out the room towards the Great Hall for breakfast.  
  
Hermione stared quizzically after the young 5th year.  
  
"Hey Hermione." She felt a slap on her back and turned to see a grinning Ron.  
  
"Mmmm, Breakfast time!" he smiled wider.  
  
She smiled affectionatley at him.  
  
"Hey Ron." Hermione questioned.  
"Ginny hasn't been killing chickens again has she ?!"  
  
Ron raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.  
  
"She was going on about you being a saint ...... " Hermione told him.  
  
"Ohh." Replied Ron.  
"I ahh ..... I told her I wanted to be a monk when I left here. She was probably still a bit shocked." he finished.  
  
"OHH !" said Hermione, a little too loudly.  
"I'm sure you'll make a great monk Ron ! You're a very sweet young man." She quickly added when she saw him start to frown.  
  
"Gee thanks Hermione." He replied happily.  
  
  
"'Course, you know could 'ave just been 'cos she's in love with you too." Ron muttered thoughtfully.  
  
"What ?" asked Hermione, not quite understanding him.  
  
"Ohh" said Ron, as he turned to face her.  
"Ginny's in love with you." he smiled as he rushed out the door to breakfast.  
  
"?!" said Hermione as she fell back into the armchair behind her.  
  
  
TBC ....... 


	7. Harry goes to the Infirmary

Todays disclaimers would like to wish ever one a very merry christmas :)  
  
  
  
"Where's Hermione ?" asked Harry, as Ron settled into the seat next to him.  
  
"I think she's pretty tiered." Ron replied as he smiled quickly at a rather dazed looking Ginny, who was seated across from him.  
  
"Poor thing fell back into the armchair in the common room" he continued.  
"You know Harry we really aught to have a word to her about her work load." He said as he quickly began to fill his plate.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Dreams aren't always literal are they ?" thought Ginny to herself.  
'Hmmm, didn't they really mean the exact opposite or something ?'  
Damn it ! She was supposed to be the heroine, and Hermione was supposed to be her dashing hero.  
'Stupid dream !' She thought to herself grumpily.  
  
It occurred to Ginny that it would have been much more sensible for her to be more worried about the fact that her brother wanted to join some muggle religion, than to fret over some silly dream.  
But then Ginny thought sensibility was quite overrated.  
  
'Hmmm' thought Ginny,  
'Maybe I should ask Professor Treelawney .......'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
"Hi. It's Ginny right ?" an airy voice floated down to her.  
  
"Nope, Cathy apparently ......." she mumbled cantankerously, as she looked up to see Lavender Brown slide into the seat beside her.  
  
"@#!?/& !!!" she muttered angrily.  
  
"Anyway, I guess I should introduce myself" Lavender quickly giggled.  
"I'm Lavender Brown - one of Hermione's close friends."  
  
"Yeah ?! And I'm a long billed forrest ant " Ginny muttered.  
  
"Ow !" She exclaimed as Harry kicked her.  
  
This time she didn't restrain herself from poking her tongue out at him.  
  
"Really Ginny" he told her quietly,   
"You need to be a little bit more mature, I mean I'm hardly going to ask you to the Yule Ball this year if you continue to carry on in such a manner." He added.  
  
"?!" said Ginny staring at him rather stupidly.  
  
"Anyway" Lavender continued, completely unaware of any other conversation around her.  
"Hermione mentioned she had this wonderfully, tragically romantic book that she'd lend me and Parvati." Lavender sighed dramatically.  
  
"Parvati and I, you nitwit !" Ginny grumped.  
  
"OW !" She exclaimed as Harry kicked her again.  
  
"GOD DAMN IT HARRY !" She yelled as she suddenly stood up, grabbed her empty breakfast plate, and proceeded to break it over his head.  
  
"Uggghhhhhh ......." Harry gurgled as he fell, unconscious, to the floor.  
  
"You know Ginny" Ron stated disapprovingly,  
"You really shouldn't take the Lords name in vain."  
  
"Oh gosh Ron !" She exclaimed.  
"How terribly inconsiderate of me. I'll try and not do it in future." She promised.  
  
"Thanks Gin." he replied Happily.  
  
"So Hermione mentioned that you had it ...... " continued Lavender obliviously.  
  
"OHH BALDERDASH !" Ginny screamed thoroughly frustrated.  
  
"Hmmm, sorry dear, did you say something ?" Lavender queried.  
  
"Ahh .... I said .... I've got to dash, late for class and all, see you later." Ginny rushed as she quickly ran out of the Great Hall.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Mr Weasley." a cold clear voice cut across the class room.  
"Would you please be so kind as to explain to me why your famous friend sees fit to sleep through my class ?" the voice continued.  
  
"Oh Harrys not asleep Professor Snape." Ron assured the potions master.  
  
"I see." Snape replied coolly.  
"Then why, pray tell, would Mr Potter be spread out across his table ?" He questioned.  
  
"Oh, that's probably 'cos hes unconscious at the moment." Ron answered helpfully.  
"Had a bit of a knock to the head this morning, hasn't woken up yet Sir." He continued.  
  
"Your friend is unconscious, and you brought him to my class rather than the infirmary Mr Weasley ?!" Snape asked incredulously.  
  
"Well yeah." Ron stated.  
"I didn't want him to get a detention for not coming !" He added, as though that should have been obvious.  
  
"Mr Weasley, your an imbecile !" Snape exclaimed.  
"10 points from Gryffindor !" He added.  
  
"WHAT ?!" Ron screamed.  
"10 points ?! You're joking ! 10 whole frigging points? ..." Ron shock his head unbelievingly.  
  
"10 points Mr Weasley. Now if you'd be so kind as to take Mr Potter to the infirmary." He stated, as he picked Harry up, and handed him to a forlorn looking Ron.  
  
"Oh Mr Weasley" Snape added before Ron was completely out the door.  
"Dear I ask where Miss Granger is this morning ?!"  
  
"Oh, she's definitely asleep, poor things taking a nap in the common room, nothing to worry about there professor" He answered, as he continued to drag a rather heavy Harry out the room.  
  
"Well, well well ........" Snape smirked, as he started to skip back to the front of the class room.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ahh, Miss Granger" Professor Snape stated grimly, as he leaned against the wall of the Gryffindor common room.  
"I never thought I'd see the day in which you decided to skip a class, well certainly not my class anyway. How does the word 'detention' sound to you ?!" He added happily.  
  
"Huh ? ....." Hermione replied dazedly, as she looked up to see a frowning potions master.   
"Ohh, Professor snape ........ Sorry did I miss a class ?" She asked quietly.  
  
"Why yes Miss Granger, how very perceptive of you." Snape replied, beginning to smile again.  
"In fact I was just explaining your detention to you." He added happily.  
  
"Oh." Hermione replied.  
"Well, I guess that's fair enough." She admitted.  
  
"FAIR ?!" Yelled Snape disbelievingly.  
  
"Yes, well I missed a class, which of course I'm sure I'll be utterly devastated by, so I should certainly be punished for it." She babbled.  
  
"?!" Spluttered Snape.  
  
"Miss Granger." He finally continued offended.  
"There is no fun in giving you any punishment if your just going to agree with it, now is there !" He stated horrified.  
  
"Oh, I see ...." Said Hermione, really not seeing at all.  
  
"Hmmph" Sighed Snape dramatically, as he crossed the common room floor, and elegantly seated himself in the chair opposite Hermione.  
  
"Obviously you are highly distressed about something Miss Granger, perhaps you would like to tell me all about it, hmmm ?!"  
  
"WHAT ?!" Screamed a completely astounded Hermione.  
  
"I realise that I am not your House professor Miss Granger, but at the moment I seem to be all you have." Snape stated.  
"So lets have a .... ah ....... a 'little girl chat' then shall we ?" He added, trying to smile sympatheticly.  
  
"?!" Said Hermione staring stupidly at the strangely grinning potions master.  
  
TBC ......... 


	8. The Fat Lady is Insulted

Disclaimers are taking a short holiday over the festive seaon : )  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ow !" exclaimed Ginny as she picked herself up from the crumpled mess she had been on the floor.  
  
"Stupid shoelaces." She grumped as she pulled out her wand and retied her laces.  
  
"Could my life get any worse ?!" She exclaimed frustrated, as she purposely thumped her way down the corridor.  
  
She suddenly stopped and clamped her hands across her mouth.  
'Ohh NO !' She thought.  
  
"Arrrggghhhhhh !" She yelled as she thumped away loudly, towards her dorm room.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ahh ....." Hermione stammered, still looking stupidly at the potions master across from her.  
  
"Ahh ........ what ?! Come now Miss Granger, I haven't got all day!" Snapped Snape.  
  
"Ahh ..... um ..... well you're ahh evil aren't you ?" Hermione asked uncertainly.  
  
"Why thank you Miss Granger." Snape smiled.  
"However compliments will get you nowhere. 10 points from Gryffindor, now please continue." He smiled wider.  
  
'No ....." Hermione sighed.  
"I simply meant I'm hardly going to tell you all of my troubles if you are evil, am I ?!" She finished.  
  
"Oh, right, I see" replied Snape, actually seeing.  
  
"Hmmm" He continued thoughtfully.  
"Well then, lets pretend that I'm actually quite nice shall we? Grandfatherly even ...."   
  
"Okaaaaay ......." Hermione dragged out quietly, once again looking at the potions master strangely.  
  
"Well I guess it might help to talk to someone ..." She continued hesitantly.  
  
"Yes quite! Well done Miss Granger, 10 points to Gryffindor." Snape clapped.  
  
"?!" Hermione gaped.  
  
"See I can do nice." Snape grinned happily   
10 points to me !" He clapped even harder.  
"Now please, do carry on Miss Granger."  
  
'Oh I get it!' Hermione suddenly realised.  
'This is actually a dream.' She thought to herself as she proceeded to pinch herself extremely hard.  
"ow !" She exclaimed unhappily.  
  
"Miss Granger really !" Snape exclaimed exasperatedly.  
"I must say that I'm beginning to wonder about your mental state ......." he sighed dramatically.  
  
"Hmmph, fine then !" Hermione huffed, after all one could only put up with a sympathetic, smiling melodramatic potions master for so long.  
  
"GINNYLOVESME !" She rushed quickly before she lost the nerve.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Stupid shoelaces...... stupid book....... stupid Lavender..... ahh ....... stupid Harry!......" Ginny muttered grumpily as she thumped her way closer to the Gryffindor rooms.  
  
"Why hello there Dear." A cherry motherly voice interrupted her.  
  
Ginny looked up.  
  
"Ohh ! Stupid Fat Lady !" She exclaimed, happy to have something else to grump about.   
  
"WELL I NEVER !" Screeched the Fat Lady offended.  
  
"Opps." Ginny sighed quietly, as she proceeded to smack herself in the head.  
  
"Ahh I was talking about the other Fat Lady, you know." She quickly added.  
  
"Uh huh." The Fat Lady stated disbelievingly.  
"What other Fat Lady would that be Deary ?!" She asked, far too sweetly.  
  
"Ahh, that other one ....... ahh, you know the ahh...... the stupid one ......." Ginny stammered lamely.  
  
"Ohh! The STUPID ONE !" The Fat Lady Screamed.  
"Well that certainly clears things up !" She stated bitterly.  
  
"I um ...... ahh ....... ohh BOLLOCKS !" Ginny exclaimed.  
  
"Fine then, get offended - I SOOOO wasn't talking about you anyway ......." Ginny stated.  
  
"Offended ?! DO I LOOK OFFENDED TO YOU ?!" The Fat Lady yelled.  
"Anyway Dear I'm sure if you were talking about me I'd be far too STUPID to understand it !" She added, as she crossed her arms across her rather ample chest and "harrumphed" dramatically.  
  
"Hmmph" Sighed Ginny frustrated.  
"Okay. Fine." She stated.  
"Pennywort." She spoke the password and waited for the Fat Lady to swing back, so she could just get herself away from this whole mess.  
  
"I said Pennywort !" Ginny spoke more loudly when nothing happened.  
  
"Oh sorry Dear, did you say something ?" The Fat Lady asked sarcastically.  
"My being STUPID and all, I couldn't understand ...... Perhaps you could write it down for me ?" She finished.  
  
"ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH !!!!" Screamed Ginny.  
  
"I said PENNYWORT" She yelled.  
"As in THE PASSWORD ! As in OPEN NOW !!" She continued.  
"...... Please." She quickly added, after all her mother had brought her up properly.  
  
"Ohh, the password? ......" The Fat Lady queried.  
  
"YES ! The password." Ginny exclaimed eagerly, starting to smile slightly.  
  
"Hmmm, well now, that seems to be the wrong password." The Fat Lady told her.  
  
"WHAT ?!" Ginny roared.  
"Since when ?!" She added frowning.  
  
"Since just now !" The Fat Lady proclaimed happily.  
  
"WHAT ?! You cant do that !" Ginny gaped incredulously.  
  
"Yes I can !" The Fat Lady stated.  
"Just did. So there !" She continued.  
  
"....... I ........ Right ! I'm telling Professor Dumbledore !" Ginny threatened.  
  
"Ohh good idea !" The Fat Lady squealed, clapping her hands rather immaturely.  
"Perhaps you could also explain to him why you're not on class while you're at it !" She added gleefully.  
  
"..........." Spluttered Ginny.  
  
"BLOODY HELL !" She screamed moodily.  
  
"Tut tut Dear ! I would have expected better from a Gryffindor ...." The Fat Lady said shaking her head.  
"The students of today ....... Why in my day ......"   
  
Ginny growled.  
  
"You know what ?" Ginny suddenly stated, having just came up with a startlingly brilliant idea.  
"I'm a close personal friend of Sirrus Black !" She exclaimed, smiling evilly.  
  
The Fat Lady stopped smiling.  
  
"Did you say 'Pennywort' Dear ?" She quickly asked sweetly, as she swung open to let the grinning 5th year through.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Finally !" Ginny sighed dramatically as she steeped through the hole into the Gryffindor common room.  
  
Bang.  
  
Ginny came to a sudden halt.  
  
Directly in front of her was a scene she had never ever expected to see.  
Professor Snape was seated in one of the armchairs by the fire, sympathetically listening and talking to a Gryffindor student seated in the chair opposite him.  
  
That however was not the unbelievable part.  
  
What completely and utterly floored Ginny was that the student was Hermione.  
  
Her 'Mione was sitting chatting in the common room during one of her classes.  
  
Ginny was flabbergasted !  
  
'Well' thought Ginny astounded,  
'Nothing could shock me now !'  
  
So naturally the next words to come from Hermione's mouth were a rather rushed, but completely audible  
"GINNYLOVESME !"  
  
Ginny gasped.  
  
Extremely loudly.  
  
A startled Hermione turned to look in her direction.  
"Ginny ........" She whispered shocked, shakily standing up.  
  
"Oh PLEASE strike me down now !" Ginny pleaded, as she held her arms up to the heavens.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Oh Drat !" Exclaimed Ginny as she looked towards a thoroughly shocked Hermione.  
She quickly turned and fled from the common room.  
  
TBC ........ 


	9. Professor Snape's daring escape

Todays Disclaimers were made to walk the plank - them being right royal scallywags and all.  
  
Unfortunatley we havn't found any replacements for the position yet .......  
  
  
  
  
Bang.  
  
Ginny ran directly into a very hard wall.  
  
"@#%?! !" She shouted frustrated, as she once again fell into a great heap on the floor.  
  
"MISS WEASLEY !" A sharp shrill voice suddenly scolded her.  
  
Ginny looked up to see that the "wall" she had just run into was in fact a rather annoyed looking Professor McGonagall.  
  
"@#%?! !" Ginny repeated grumpily as she sat up.  
After all, she thought to herself, she was already in a whole world of trouble - what was a few more thousand points from Gryffindor ?!  
  
'Ohh!' Thought Ginny suddenly  
'They might even expel me !' She started to smile.  
'Mother would be a bit upset, but it would solve all of my problems !" She thought gleefully.  
  
"Come with me !" McGonagall stated sharply, as she turned and marched down the corridor.  
  
Ginny grinned, as she quickly picked herself up and began to skip behind a very fast moving transfigurations professor.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Running in the halls, utter disregard towards teachers, flinging about foul language like there is no tomorrow, skipping classes ......" McGonagall listed furiously, as she paced behind her desk.  
  
"Honestly, Miss Weasley ! I would have expected better from a Gryffindor." She concluded, stopping to stare sharply at Ginny.  
  
"Yep. Getting that a lot today ...." Ginny muttered quietly to herself.  
  
"MISS WASLEY !" McGonagall shouted, far too quietly.  
"Obviously you do not understand the world of trouble you are in." She finished crisply.  
  
"Ohh ! But I do." Ginny happily exclaimed, suddenly seeing her chance.  
"I've been very, very naughty !" Ginny continued rather grimly.  
"I rather expect that you're going to have to expel me." She stated, trying to frown appropriately.  
  
"I wouldn't go that far Miss Weasley." McGonagall replied coolly.  
"We shall have to tell your parents, but ....."  
  
"WHAT ?!" Ginny interrupted, thoroughly astounded.  
"But I was naughty ....." She pouted.  
"Very, very naughty ....." She continued.  
"Ohh ! And I even skipped classes yesterday too !" She quickly added.  
  
"Well Miss Weasley I must say that I am pleased to see you showing so much remorse." McGonagall stated, more kindly.  
"We shall certainly have to take that into account ....... Perhaps we needn't even tell your parents after all." McGonagall continued, more to herself.  
  
"BUT ?! ......" Spluttered Ginny.  
  
"Now, now Miss Weasley. We are not ogres." McGonagall stated, almost smirking.  
"Also we must take into account the fact that you are an exemplary student." She smiled.  
"Indeed Miss Weasley, perhaps I have been a little harsh ...." McGonagall apologised.  
"I think 10 points from Gryffindor aught to do it." She decided.  
  
"10 POINTS ?! 10 FRIGING POINTS ?!" Ginny screamed.  
"THAT'S IT ?! 10 GODDAMNED POINTS ?! WHAT KIND OF DEPUTY HEADMASTER ARE YOU ANYWAY ?!" She continued angrily.  
"Honestly ! You'll be giving out candy in detention next !" She added sulkily.  
  
"MISS WEASLEY !" McGonagall cried offended.  
  
A sudden thought however stopped the transfigurations teacher dead in her tracks.  
  
"Miss Weasley." She queried gently.  
"You haven't been killing chickens again have you ?"  
  
"ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH !!!" Screamed Ginny, as she fell to the floor and threw her arms and legs about wildly in a full blown temper tantrum.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Well Goodness me !" Snape exclaimed as he held out his bare arm, staring at a completely non existent watch.  
"Would you look at the time !" He quickly stood up and started to inch his way towards the door'  
"Terribly late for ahh ...... for um ...... for something." He added lamely as he continued to make his escape.  
  
"Where are you going ?!" A distraught Hermione suddenly wailed.  
  
"I um ..... late ....... ahh ...... important meeting and so on." Snape quickly replied, almost at the door.  
  
"Ohh ! An 'important' meeting." Hermione said bitterly.  
"More important than the mental health of one of your students ...." She continued.  
"Well off you go. I'll just sit here ALL ALONE, and CRY to MYSELF shall I ?" She finished sulkily.  
  
"Hmmph" Sighed Snape, as he quickly turned around.  
"Miss Granger, perhaps it would be better for you to discuss these ahh .... 'matters' with your house professor." He added delicately.  
  
"These 'MATTERS' ?!" Hermione asked offended.  
"These 'MATTERS' ?!" She repeated tearily.  
  
"Miss Granger, I simply meant that 'love' is not really my style. Revenge, murder, animal sacrifices, or how to get the perfect crease into that new robe ......" Snape smiled dreamily to himself.  
" Well I'd be happy to discuss any of those with you." He continued.  
"But 'love' - ewwww !" Snape scrunched his face up appropriately.  
  
Hermione simply stared at him.  
  
She then proceeded to burst into very loud, very wet, very large tears.  
  
"Drat !" Grumped Snape as he crossed the room again.  
  
"There, there." He stated stiffly as he awkwardly patted her on the shoulder.  
  
That was all the encouragement that Hermione needed, as she quickly threw herself at the rather shocked potions master, and began to sob all over his newly starched jacket.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"SEVERUS !" A sharp, shocked voice rang out across the Gryffindor common room.  
  
Snape turned, well as much as was possible to turn anyway, to see a very surprised Professor McGonagall standing on the other side of the room.  
  
"Ahh Minerva !" He exclaimed happily, as he quickly extracted a still bawling Hermione and threw her at a startled transfigurations professor.  
  
"Got to dash, important meeting and all. Cheerio." He called gleefully as he hurriedly skipped through the door.   
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Really Miss Granger !" An annoyed McGonagall exclaimed exasperatedly.  
"You've been crying for the past 2 and a half minutes. It's all rather unseemly ! Whatever is the matter child ?"  
  
"ginny" Hermione quietly mumbled through her tears.  
  
"What ?! I can't hear you girl. Speak up !" McGonagall sighed.  
  
"GINNY !" Hermione shouted, then proceeded to cry even harder.  
  
"Ahh." McGonagall shoke her head sympathetically.  
"She's going to be okay." She kindly assured the sobbing 6th year.  
"Madame Pomfrey thinks she may have had an ahh ..... epilouge-tic fit ? Poor child had to be sedated." She continued, shaking her head again.  
"But she'll be fine when she wakes up. You really shouldn't worry so." She said, as she gently patted Hermione on the shoulder.  
  
Hermione stopped crying.  
  
"WHAT ?!" She screamed, quickly wiping her eyes.  
"GINNY"S IN THE INFIRMARY ?!" She asked incredulously.  
  
"Ahhh ...." McGonagall stammered.  
  
Hermione quickly picked herself up and rushed out of the common room door.  
  
"Oh Drat !" Exclaimed McGonagall as she hurried after the young Gryffindor.  
  
  
TBC .............. 


	10. Harry has a visitor

Todays Disclaimers have all called in sick : (  
  
  
  
"Well it's about Damned time !" Harry exclaimed offended, as Hermione bowled her way into the infirmary.  
  
"Here I am, lying all ALONE on my death bed, not a friend in sight to check on me, to comfort me ...." He sighed.  
  
Hermione flew straight past his bed.  
  
Harry stopped sighing.  
  
"Ahh Hermione ........?!" He faltered, completely shocked.  
  
"Um ...... Perhaps you didn't notice, but my bed is over HERE !" he called out to her back.  
"As in NOT over there !" He yelled.  
  
Hermione never heard him as she hurtled her way towards Ginny's bed.  
  
"Well I never !" Huffed Harry dramatically, as he crossed his arms across his chest grumpily and pouted.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hermione came to a sudden skidding halt near one of the very last beds in the infirmary.  
  
She stepped closer to the end of the bed and quietly gazed at the peaceful angelic figure sleeping in front of her.  
  
She smiled gently as she walked closer to the young Gryffindor.  
She suddenly decided, as she shook her head affectionately, that Colin Creevey looked extremely sweet and adorable in his sleep.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hermione slid gracefully onto a small wooden stool near the head of Ginny's bed.  
  
She looked sadly at her poor lovable Ginny, as she wondered what the Dickens the young girl had gone and done to herself now.  
  
A sudden horrifying thought came to her, as she quickly turned and looked at the bed next to Ginny's.  
  
'PHEW !' She thought to herself.  
Colin definitely did not look petrified.  
  
Hermione scolded herself, ashamed at her quickly made assumptions, and reached over to gently wipe the young Gryffindors sweaty forehead.  
  
She settled back into her extremely hard stool and gazed fondly at her little friend.  
She looked from Ginny's twitching body, to the pool of foam forming at the corner of her mouth, and finally to her one open, darting eye.  
Hermione sighed, Ginny looked so enchanting in her unconscious, injured state.  
  
She idly wondered if she should ask Madam Pomfrey how long they could keep her sedated for.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
Harry stopped pouting as he heard what sounded like rather quick moving footsteps rushing towards the infirmary.  
  
'Ahh.' He thought happily.  
'Ron still loves me !'   
  
'Hmmm' He thought to himself as Professor McGonagall came racing into the room.  
'Ron looks very different today !'  
  
Harry frowned.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Oh my Goodness !" Exclaimed Professor McGonagall, as she leant against the infirmary wall and clutched her pounding heart exhaustedly.  
  
"Do stop staring Mr Potter !" McGonagall told the slack jawed boy wonder, as she tried to stand by herself.  
  
'Wow !' Thought Harry, extremely impressed.  
'Ron even sounds like Professor McGonagall !'  
  
However Harry soon came out of his contemplative haze when he noticed that "Ron" was quickly moving towards the other end of the room.  
  
'Right !' Thought Harry grouchily.  
'I am SOOO probably maybe not going to the ball this year with Ginny !' He decided firmly, as he crossed his arms and harrumphed dramatically.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
"Miss Granger." McGonagall said coolly, as she finally reached the young 6th year.  
  
Unfortunately Miss Granger didn't respond.  
  
"Miss Granger, I do not like having to repeat myself !" She stated exasperatedly.  
  
However Miss Granger still wasn't listening.  
  
McGonagall looked angrily from the rude Gryffindor seated before her, to the young Weasley lying in the infirmary bed.  
She almost shrieked aloud when she took in Ginny.  
She shook her head sadly, noticing the twitching eye and body and the lake of froth that had now formed at the corner of her mouth.  
Obviously this epilogue disease was horribly debilitating.  
  
McGonagall quickly looked back to the still non-responsive Hermione.  
She suddenly noticed that the 6th year was staring rather dreamily at the young Weasley, and she also seemed to be drooling all over herself.  
  
'Oh No !' McGonagall thought to herself, suddenly working out just what was going on.  
'I definitely do not do 'love' !' She concluded.  
'Ewww .....' She added as she scrunched up her face appropriately.  
  
McGonagall quickly turned, and tiptoed out of the infirmary.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Hmmph !' Thought Harry bitterly to himself, as he heard yet another set of footsteps approaching the infirmary.  
'Wonder who else wan'ts to see how Miss Ginny Perfect is doing !' He finished.  
  
His bad mood however quickly cleared up when he noticed that the footsteps in fact belonged to none other than the Potions Master himself.  
  
Unfortunately his frown soon returned when Professor Snape skipped right up to his bed, rather than racing straight past him.  
  
"Ahh ...... ?!" Harry stammered.  
  
"Mr Potter." Snape tried to smile sympathetically, as he took a seat on the edge of Harry's bed.  
"So how we feeling ?" He semi-kindly asked.  
  
"?!" Exclaimed Harry as he quickly feel unconscious from shock.  
  
"Oh Drat !" Replied Snape disappointedly.  
  
  
TBC ........ 


	11. Professor Snape's new job

We are currently training new Disclaimers, we apologise for any difficulties that may arise from this.  
  
  
  
  
"Ahh Miss Granger. And how are we today ? Asked a strangely chirpy Professor Snape.  
  
"Huh .........?!" Stammered Hermione, very quickly coming out of her drool flooded haze.  
  
"Ahh ......." She continued staring blankly at the strangely grinning Potions Master.  
  
"I said 'H o w - a r e - w e - t o d a y ?' " Snape slowly enunciated, thinking that the poor 6th year had taken a knock to the head, which was obviously effecting her mental capabilities.  
  
"Ohh ...... Ahh ......... Good ?" Hermione replied uncertainly.  
  
"Ohh ....... Well Drat then !" Snape exclaimed disappointedly, as he proceeded to pout darkly.  
  
"WHAT ?!" Hermione suddenly shouted offended.  
"'Oh Drat' that I'm good ?" she questioned quietly, as she crossed her arms and stared angrily at Snape.  
  
"Well I ahh ........" He trailed off nervously.  
  
"Well you ahh .... WHAT ?!" Hermione shouted.  
  
"Ahh ......" Snape stammered as he slowly started to back away from the fiery young Gryffindor.  
  
"iwasonlytryingtobepolite." He mumbled quietly to himself, rather hurt.  
  
"POLITE ?! How on earth were you being POLITE ?!" Fumed hermione  
  
"Well ..... I .....Um ....." Snape spluttered, quite flustered.   
  
"No. I am sorry, but I'm just going to have to take 10 points from Slytherin." Hermione stated firmly.  
  
"?!" Said Snape as he fell stunned onto another small stool near the angry 6th year.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ohh for crying out loud !" Hermione exclaimed exasperatedly.  
"I thought you were a grown man not a blithering idiot." She told Snape rather unkindly.  
  
Snape however completely ignored her, as he continued to howl extremely loudly.  
  
"Arrggghhhh" Cursed Hermione quietly as she looked around embarrassed, to see if anyone else was watching this very weird scene.  
"It was only ten points!" She quietly hissed at the snivelling man, as she shook her head annoyed.  
  
"I could make it 20 you know." She suddenly added.  
  
Snape stopped crying.  
  
"Thank you." She told him sincerely as she handed him a pretty little flowery handkerchief.  
  
"You didn't have to be so mean you know." Snape said as he wiped his tear stained eyes.  
"I was only trying to help you." He stated.  
  
"Help me ?!" exclaimed Hermione as she turned around to fully face the Potions Master.  
"You replied, and I quote 'Ohh Drat !', that I was feeling good, PLEASE tell me how that was helping me ?!" She spat angrily at him.  
  
"I only said that because I had heard that your girlfriend was in the Infirmary, and I thought you might be in need of some friendly counselling." Snape replied, looking like he was about to tear up again.  
  
"She's not my girlfriend." Hermione replied far too quickly.  
  
"Miss Granger I am not an idiot !" Snape exclaimed offended.  
  
"Why would you want to counsel me anyway ?" Hermione asked, quickly changing the subject.   
"And anyway I thought you didn't do 'love' ....." She said suspiciously.  
  
"Well ..... I ..... Ahh ......" Snape stammered.  
  
"Your up to something !" Hermione exclaimed as she jumped to her feet, and proceeded to point at the Potions Master.  
  
"I am not." Snape lied indignantly.  
  
"YES you are" Hermione stated, pointing even harder at him.  
  
"Okay, okay fine." Snape replied grumpily.  
"Now sit down before anybody sees you ...." He hissed.  
  
Hermione quickly sat down.  
  
"So" She asked excitedly, as she rubbed her hands together.  
"What evil, world ending plan have you got going now ?"   
"You do know Harry's going to stop you don't you!" She quickly added.  
  
"Ohh I'm very sure he would." Snape drawled, almost slightly smirking, as he looked across the infirmary at a completely unconscious Mr Potter.  
"And, might I add Miss Granger" He continued, as he turned his attention back to the 6th year.  
"That it hurts a great deal that you would automatically assume that I was up to some evil acropolytic plot." Snape stated as he crossed his arms offended.  
  
"Ohh!" Hermione exclaimed.  
"I guess it would, wouldn't it. Terribly sorry about that." She apologised.  
  
"So why did you want to counsel me then." She enquired.  
  
"Ohh well ahh you see ......." Snape stammered embarrassed.  
  
"What ?" Hermione asked gently.  
  
Snape continued stammering.  
  
"Oh come on, it can't be that bad. I mean its not like you want to be the new School Counsellor or anything is it." Hermione laughed.  
  
"Well .... I ..... ahh ....." Snape spluttered, going very red.  
  
"Ohh." Hermione stopped laughing.  
  
"Well its ahh ..... You see ..... Um well .... it pays a whole lot better than my current position ....... And umm well ..... I sort of helped you the other day so I thought maybe I might have a shot at it ......" Snape trailed off quietly.  
  
"Ohh. Um. Well ahh I'm sure you'll make a great School Counsellor. " Hermione lied.  
  
"Really ?!" Asked Snape a lot more brightly.  
  
"Ahh yeah." Hermione continued to lie.  
  
"So who would be the new Potions Master then ?" She asked suddenly.  
  
"Oh, well I was thinking that Argus Filch was getting a whole lot better at magic recently ...." Snape told her.  
  
"WHAT ?!" Screamed Hermione thoroughly shocked.  
"No no no no no no no no ....." she said.  
  
"What about Voldemort ?" She quickly suggested, after all Potions was a compulsory class, she couldn't just drop it like Divination.  
"I mean he's got a whole lot better now, and he's probably quite good at potions - after all he made himself into snake boy back in my fourth year. Ohh! and he was a Slytherin." She added, trying desperately to convince Professor Snape of her better choice.  
  
"Hmm" Snape said thoughtfully.  
"Yes. I think I might just suggest that idea to Albus." He concluded happily.  
  
'Phew !' thought Hermione to herself, that was definitely one very big catastrophe she had cleverly avoided. Harry would be impressed !  
  
"So" Said Snape happily,  
"Lets talk about how your feeling now that your girlfriend lying unconscious in the infirmary." He stated dramatically.  
  
"She's not unconscious, you know, she's just sedated." Hermione corrected.  
  
"Hmmph you say 'potato' I say 'tomato' " Snape replied indignantly.  
  
"What ?!" Hermione questioned unbelievably.  
  
"Its an old muggle saying." Snape replied pompously.  
  
"No its not." Hermione stated.  
  
"Anyway about your girlfriend ...." Snape said, starting to get a bit annoyed at all the distractions.  
  
"DAMN IT ! She is NOT my GIRLFRIEND !!!" Hermione yelled frustratedly.  
  
Suddenly Ginny woke up.  
  
  
TBC ........ 


	12. A comfy pillow

Authors note: Just wanted to thank every one for all the great feed back : )  
  
This chapter goes out to Silvana - thanks for being a great friend : )  
  
  
  
Disclaimers are currently waiting to see if they have passed there level 5 Discalimer test : )  
  
  
"Miss Granger I have already told you that I AM NOT AN IDIOT GOD DAMN IT !" Snape screamed, most un-Snape like at the young Gryffindor.  
  
"Ahhh okay ......." Hermione spluttered, rather shocked at Snape's sudden exclamation.  
  
"Umm I guess you've been under a bit of stress the last couple of days then huh ?" She asked the ex- Potions Master.  
"Ahhh do you want to talk about it ........ " She queried gently.  
  
'Ohh how sweet' Snape thought to himself.  
"Well yes, now that you mention it" He started happily.  
  
However something suddenly occurred to him.  
"Ohhh very clever Miss Granger." He stated coldly.  
"Thought you'd try and take my job off me did you ?! Thought you'd make a better counsellor than me huh ?! Well I'm onto you missy !" He finished angrily.  
  
"23 and a half points from Gryffindor !" He spat out, as he jumped up and horridly left the infirmary.  
  
"?!" Spluttered Hermione, thoroughly shocked.  
  
"I wouldn't get too upset." Ginny quietly spoke into the stunned silence.  
"23 and a half points is really nothing, he took 1500 of me once." She continued.  
  
"Still ........" Hermione replied quietly, rather hurt by the whole thing.  
  
Suddenly Hermione turned around.  
  
"GINNY ?! ........." She cried, as she threw herself onto the injured young Gryffindor.  
  
Ginny smiled, for what seemed like the first time in a rather long while, as she held onto the sobbing older girl.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
"Talk about it ! Indeed!" Snape muttered angrily to himself, as he quickly stalked down the corridor, scowling at everyone, and paying absolutely no attention to where he was going.  
  
"Oww !" He yelled as he bumped into someone and quickly fell into a tangled heap on the floor.  
  
"Severus !" A shrill annoyed voice scolded him.  
  
'Oh brilliant' thought Snape, this just wasn't turning out to be his day at all.  
"Minerva, terribly sorry about that." He stated, through gritted teeth.  
  
'Oh no ....." McGonagal exclaimed rather quietly.  
  
Snape looked up curiously to note that their collision had caused a bottle of something that the Transfigurations teacher had been carrying to smash all over them.  
  
"Ohh I'm sorry." He said, actually feeling slightly bad this time.  
"That wasn't for a class was it ?" He asked.  
  
"No." McGonagal replied rather thin lipped.  
"Just something I confiscated from young Mr Finnigan." She quickly added.  
  
"Ohh really! What was it ?" Asked Snape, rather happy to hear that a Gryffindor was actually in trouble.  
  
"A love potion apparently." McGonagall smirked unhappily.  
  
"Ohh ........ well Drat !" Snape whispered as he looked up into the most beautiful bifocal covered eyes he had ever seen.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Mmmm" mumbled Hermione happily to herself as she snuggled even closer to her comfy pillow.  
  
"Hey there sleepy head." Ginny said tenderly, as she continued to lightly stroke the older girls hair.  
  
"Hmmm ?" Hermione questioned sleepily, as she looked up into the smiling eyes of her young friend.  
"Hey Gin." She replied yawning happily. It was, she decided, very nice to see her little Ginny happy and smiling again!  
However she had also decided that her new pillow was actually even nicer, so she smiled once more at the 5th year and then settled happily into her former position.  
  
'Mmm' She thought to herself, as she tried to snuggle even deeper into her pillow 'they really should give these out to everyone, not just the patients in the infirmary!'  
  
"Comfy ?" Ginny asked, smirking.  
  
"Mmmhmm!" Hermione answered, not bothering to move from where she was.  
  
"Oh, well good then." Ginny laughed happily at her friends very unHermione like actions.  
  
'Wow' Hermione thought to herself, entirely ignoring her friends laughter.  
'They even make the pillows here smell nice!'   
In fact, she considered as she sniffed even harder, the pillows had a very distinct scent, one she had smelt before ........  
'Ohh ! honeysuckle and jasmine ! ' She finally decided, rather pleased with herself for picking it out. Although she did have to admit that it wasn't really that hard, after all that was the fragrance Ginny alway wore........  
  
'Ohh no !' Hermione screamed to herself, as she quickly sat up.  
  
Her comfy pillow wasn't even a pillow after all - it was in fact her best friend!   
Her apparently GAY best friend!  
'Oh God !' Hermione thought to herself,thoroughly horrified, she had been using her best GAY friend's chest as a pillow.   
In fact if she was completely honest with herself, she had actually been groping her best GAY friend's chest!  
Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that straight girls probably shouldn't be doing that !  
  
"I um ......... ahh ...... I'm just ......ahh not like that" Hermione quickly yelled, as she leaped from the bed, and raced out of the infirmary.  
  
Ginny stopped smiling.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ugggghhhhh" Exclaimed a very startled Ron, as he was picked up by an extremely fast moving Hermione, and dragged up the stairs to the girls dormitory.  
  
"Oww !" He complained as he was dropped onto the floor by Hermione's bed.  
  
"What'd you do that for ?!" He asked rubbing his sore neck.  
  
He didn't get an answer though, Hermione it seemed was to busy undressing for that.  
  
"Ahhh Hermione what are you doing ....... ?" Ron asked nervously.   
He just knew that Ginny was going to end up killing him for this, and it soooo wasn't even his fault - life was so unfair some times !  
  
"Ron ! You've got far to many clothes on !" Hermione exclaimed berserkly, as she began to advance on the worried young man.  
  
"Ahh Hermione, maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey for a little while." Ron suggest, as he picked himself up and ran around the other side of the bed.  
  
"Ronald Weasley you can not escape from me !" Hermione spat out thoroughly annoyed at her friends evasive actions.  
  
Ohh this was not good, this was definitely not good, Ron decided.  
  
"Umm Hermione, You remember I want to be a monk don't you ?" Ron tried, rather desperate for anything that might help.  
  
"Well even more reason to do this." Hermione smiled.  
"I mean you only have one more year left before a LIFETIME of monkery." She smirked.  
  
'No !' Ron decided, this was just wrong.  
"Hermione I am not going to sleep with my sister's girlfriend. I mean honestly what kind of brother do you think I am ?!" He asked, thoroughly offended.  
  
"GOD DAMN IT I AM NOT GAY !!!!! " Hermione yelled.  
  
"Haha very funny 'Mione !" Ron laughed.  
  
"Hello I dated Victor remember !" Hermione exclaimed.  
  
Ron laughed even harder.  
  
"What about Professor Lockhart then huh ?! " She asked as she crossed her arms, rather annoyed by Ron's immaturity.  
  
Ron was now laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes.  
  
"Hahahahahaha .....Lockhart .......Good one Hermione !" Ron smiled, pleased that this was obviously all just a joke after all.  
  
"What's so funny about Gilderoy ?!" Hermione asked, half dreamily, half annoyed.  
  
"Ohh come on Hermione, he wore more make up than my mum ! Honestly I don't know why we didn't see this coming earlier ! Not gay ! Hahahahaha ...." Ron continued to laugh as he happily walked back to the common room, he was going to have to tell Fred and George about this - hell maybe Hermione had a future in the joke business !  
  
"Arrrrggggggghhhhh !!!" Screamed Hermione, as she threw herself onto her bed and proceeded to sulk.  
  
  
The End.  
  
  
( Just joking !)  
  
TBC............. 


	13. An advanced potion

Disclaimers are currently taking their 12 yearly first aid courses - they should be back in time for the next episode :)  
  
  
  
Hermione sighed dramatically, as she swivelled on her bed, and picked up one of her pillows and proceeded to throw it very hard against the wall.  
  
"Hmmph, Gay my arse !" She smiled happily to herself, as though her pillow tossing antics had somehow confirmed her complete and utter straightness.  
  
However her smile soon turned to a frown when she noticed the direction the pillow had taken.  
"Oh No!" She screamed in horror, as she watched it slam into the life sized Weird Sisters poster hanging above her bed.  
She quickly threw herself across her bed, and gently stroked the beautiful haggard faces of the three, scantly clad sisters.  
"I am so sorry." She told the poster sincerely.  
  
"Okay so their last album wasn't exactly their best yet, but really 'Minoe that's a bit harsh." A highly amused voice told her sternly.  
  
Hermione froze mid stroke.  
"Gin, Hi." She replied, thoroughly embarrassed.  
  
Suddenly something occurred to her.  
"Ginny Weasley, shouldn't you be in the infirmary ?!" She asked, worry having overridden her embarrassment.  
  
"Apparently they make you leave when you get better." Ginny stated sadly.  
"The injustice of it all ......" She continued, valiantly trying not to smirk.  
  
"So your okay then ?" Hermione asked tentatively, as she jumped down from her bed and crossed the floor to stand beside her friend.  
  
"I was okay in the first place !" Ginny grumped to herself.  
  
"Gin ? " Hermione questioned quietly.  
  
"I'm fine, don't worry." Ginny reassured the older Gryffindor.  
  
"Good, I was so concerned." Hermione said, as she grabbed the younger girl in a very big, slightly too long, hug.  
  
"So we're okay then ?" Ginny asked nervously.  
  
"I .............." Hermione stammered uncertainly, as she backed out of the hug and looked at Ginny apologetically.  
  
"Cause the way you ran out of the infirmary, well I ....." Ginny faltered.  
  
"I ...... its just ...... Gin, I'm sorry but I'm just not gay." Hermione stated sadly.  
  
"I'm not asking you to be." Ginny replied quietly.  
  
"Really ?" Hermione enquired hopefully.  
  
"Yes." Ginny whispered.  
"I just want to be your friend." She finished  
  
"Good, cause that's exactly what I want." Hermione exclaimed happily, hugging her younger friend again.  
  
"Ahh Hermione ....." Ginny interrupted, as something suddenly occurred to her.  
"Where are your clothes ?!"  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Harry mate, good to see you again !" Ron smiled, slapping his friend rather hard on the back, as he took a seat beside him, and a now fully clothed Hermione.  
  
"Oww !" Harry complained indignantly.  
"And can I just add that I am no longer talking to either of you." He continued.  
"There I was, lying on my death bed ......" He started dramatically.  
  
"So Hermione" Ron interrupted, completely oblivious to his winging friend.  
  
However Ron never got to finish his sentence, as the sound of swishing robes soon announced the arrival of their teacher.  
"Drat! " Ron exclaimed unhappily,as he hastily began to pull his potions books and notes out of his bag.  
  
"Good Morning Classsssssss." A sinister voice announced.  
  
"WHAT THE ?! " Harry screamed as he stood and pointed, thoroughly stunned, at a very different looking Professor Snape.  
  
"Ahh Mista Potter, we meet again." The very different looking Professor Snape stated.  
"Do sit down." He commanded.  
  
Harry sat down.  
  
"Now some of you may be wondering were your normal Potions Master is hmmm ?" Voldermort continued.  
"Well as you know Professor Snape was to have taken up the position of School Counsellor next term and I was to be your replacement teacher. Well I'm afraid to say I got bored - I killed him so I could start a little bit earlier." He finished.  
  
Ron decided that Harry's eyes could definitely have been said to have bugged out about then.  
  
"Ha ha ! Just joking." Voldemort laughed.  
"I like to start my classes off with a bit of humour." He commented.  
"Actually Professor Snape is currently in Acapulco on his Honeymoon, So I will be starting with you all a bit earlier than expected." He stated happily.  
  
"Right" He stated, as he began to pass out a piece of paper to everyone.  
"Today we will be making the Deadly Dark Deleterious Potion." Voldemort smiled maliciously.  
  
"Ahh that's not dangerous or anything is it ? " Ron quickly asked, after all Potions masters had a habit of being slightly mean - it was best to be a little bit suspicious of them.  
  
"Ahh ........ NO ! ........ of course not ......" Voldemort lied, his left eye blinking rather rapidly.  
  
"Anyway once you have all made your potions we will test them out on a volunteer to see how well they worked ........Ahh Mista Potter how about you then ?!" Voldemort asked rubbing his pale white hands together gleefully, as he cackled quietly.  
  
"?!" Said Harry as he very quickly fainted.'  
  
"Drat !" Voldermort stated disappointedly.  
  
"Right then, any questions ?" He asked tersely.  
  
"Yes Miss Granger ?" He sighed.  
  
"Well I was just wondering why my recipe is completely different from Ron's ?" Hermione asked confused.  
  
"Oh Professor Snape specifically requested that you be allowed to make that one." Voldemort replied.  
  
"Ohh ?" Hermione stated rather shocked.  
"Why ? ........." She queried.  
  
"Ohh because ....... ahh ....... well ....... its ahh more advanced ? Yes that's it ! He ahh wanted to give you more of a challenge!" He answered quickly, rather pleased with his swift thinking.  
  
Hermione looked down at her piece of paper, noting that the title of True Love Finding Potion had been crossed out and replaced with Deadly Dark Deleterious Potion Mark II.  
She smiled to herself as she quickly grabbed an ounce of rose petals, a teaspoon of chocolate syrup and a handful of fairy dust from the potions shelf.  
Perhaps Professor Snape wasn't really that bad after all, of course the mark I potion was too simple for the likes of Hermione Granger !  
  
  
TBC ............. 


	14. Dress Ups

Today's Disclaimers have come down with a nasty case of Laryngitis.  
Hermione growled lowly as she steeped inside the Great Hall, noticing Lavender Brown head towards the only spare seat beside Ginny.  
  
Damn it ! Just because she wasn't gay didn't mean that Ginny was available!  
Honestly, didn't Lavender have any morals at all ?!  
  
Hermione quickly raced across the Hall and threw herself into the spare seat, toppling poor Lavender in the process.  
"Ohh Gosh! Are you okay ?" Hermione asked, trying hard not to laugh.  
  
"Ugggghhhhhhhhh....." Said Lavender.  
  
"?!" Said Ginny, rather startled by Hermione's unHermione like actions.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Hmmm' thought Lavender, as she munched happily on her scrummy herbal cheese flavoured ice cream and jelly - infirmary food really wasn't all that bad, in fact .....  
  
However Lavender soon paused mid-spoonful and mid-thought as she heard a loud flapping noise.  
Looking up she noticed Ron's mini owl heading her way.  
  
"Ohh Goody !" She exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands and waiting for her mail.  
Perhaps Ron was finally going to profess his undying love for her, she thought happily as she quickly tore open the envelope.  
  
Dear Lavender,  
  
She read aloud to herself, afterall she thoroughly believed letters sounded far better read aloud!  
  
I hope you are felling a lot better.  
I hear the infirmary food has gotten a lot better.  
  
Love Hermione.  
  
P.s If you go near Ginny again I will KILL you !  
Pps I know some people !  
  
'Well !' Thought Lavender as she resumed munching on her scrummy food, that was all very weird!   
Although they did say great minds tended to go a bit nutty - after all just look at Dumbledore!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
"Honestly Miss Granger!" The newly returned Transfigurations teacher exclaimed, as she waved the offending lacy garment about.  
"I said turn your spoon into a JAR not a BRA!" McGonagall spluttered.  
"I must say I am surprised that a young lady such as yourself would stoop to such a juvenile level." McGonagall continued.  
"10 points from Gryffindor!" She snapped as she thrust the garment back at the young Gryffindor.  
  
"grrrrhhh" said Hermione quietly to herself, as she quickly picked up the garment and gently held it to her young nose.  
  
'Hmmm' She suddenly thought to herself - that champaign colour would go wonderfully with Ginny's glorious red hair.........  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
"Miss Granger have you been listening to a word I have said ?!" Professor Binns angrily asked, as he floated over to the Gryffindor and grabbed the quill she had been doodling with out of her hand.  
  
" Apparently you find drawing ..... love hearts ?!..... more intriguing than my lesson on the 1543 Insurrection  
of Latvian Magical Fruit Growers ?" The History Professor asked.  
  
"Ahhhhh ....." Hermione spluttered, looking around at a roomful of comatosed 6th year students.  
"Well at least I'm awake." She offered.  
  
"Well then, you should be able to stay awake for a weeks worth of detention too." Binns stated, as he floated back to the front of the class.  
  
"Right " Binns began  
"On the 3rd of the month Mrs Guinevere Appleseed headed a meeting at the .............." He continued monotonously.  
  
"grrrhhhhh" said Hermione quietly to herself, as she went back to drawing her pretty little love hearts.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
"Well, well, well. Somebody's been a naughty little girl havn't they." Argus Filch smiled happily as Hermione walked into the detention room that night.  
  
"Arrggghhh, can we please just get this over with" Hermione pleaded.  
  
Argus Filch simply cackled evilly.  
  
"So what are we doing today? " Hermione asked as she neared the centre of the room.  
"Trawling the Forbidden Forest for scary unicorn attacking monsters ? Cleaning your office ?......"  
  
"Playing dress ups with pookie apparently" A very stressed sounding, pink lace and taffeta covered, Ginny squeaked.  
  
"Ginny ?! What are you doing here ?" Hermione asked startled.  
  
"She's been a very naughty little girl" Filch stated happily as he picked up an also pink lace and taffeta covered Mrs Norris and carried her towards a dolls pram.  
  
Suddenly Ginny launched herself across the floor and grabbed hold of Hermione's legs.  
"Please Save me! For the love of Merlin you've got to help me" She cried desperately.  
  
"Umm ............ Okay" Hermione stated as an idea suddenly came to her.  
"You know Mr Filch" Hermione began rather blithely.  
"I really think there are too many of us to play fairly with ahh ..... pookie....., so why don't you play dress up with her, and I'll play with Ginny ?"  
  
"What ?!" Screamed Ginny, thoroughly astounded - her hero simply was not helping her at all !  
  
"Hmmm I don't know ......." Filch replied, suspecting that the young Gryffindor was up to something.  
  
"Or else I could play with pookie, and you could play with Ginny ......" Hermione offered, smiling evilly.  
  
"No, no ! You play with the girl." Filch quickly decided, as he happily began to skip out of the room with the pram.  
  
Hermione smiled.  
  
"Right" She stated, as she began to advance on the now very worried 5th year.   
"That dress definitely has to go !"  
TBC ........... 


	15. The End

Todays Disclaimers would like to thank everybody for joining them on this mad journey so far : )  
"Ahh Hermione what are you doing ?!" screamed Ginny as she quickly stumbled backwards into a groups of chairs.  
  
"Oh come now my little Ginny" Hermione smirked evilly as she advanced on the clearly distressed young girl.  
"I think we both know what's going on here." She finished.  
  
"Umm NO! I'm quite sure we don't !" Ginny shrieked as she quickly dodged the older girls clutches and ran for the door.  
  
"Well Drat !" Exclaimed a thoroughly frustrated Hermione, as she quickly chased after her retreating quarry.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
  
"Phew! Finally" Sighed a very exhausted Ginny as she leaned against the now closed door of a small hidden room.  
  
"Damn where do they keep the lights in these places!" She exclaimed annoyed, as she tripped over some hidden object.  
  
"Should be just a little to your left I think." A helpful voice supplied.  
  
"Why thank you " Ginny replied politely, as she reached over and turned on the light.  
  
"Course you could have just used your wand you know." A psychotically grinning Hermione told her.  
  
"How did you ....... When ...... UGGGGHHHH !!!" spluttered a very flustered Ginny, as she quickly reached behind her to open the door.  
  
"Uhuh, not again my pretty !" cackled the 6th year as she quickly advanced on the younger girl.  
  
"ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH !!!!!" Screamed Ginny as she quickly held her wand up to herself as shouted "REMOVEUS !"   
  
"Well Drat !" Complained a disappointed Hermione as she watched her love disappear in a puff of magenta coloured smoke.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ouch!" cried Ginny as she landed on a rather solid object.  
  
"Ummpppphhhhh!" Exclaimed a rather startled Ron, as he felt an extremely heavy weight land on him, and ruin a perfectly good sleep.  
  
"Ohh Ron !" Ginny shouted happily as she jumped on her brother and hugged the life out of him.  
Finally she was safe !  
  
"Huh ?! Ginny what ? Uggghhhhhh Cant breath. " Ron stated.  
  
"Ohh sorry." Ginny replied sheepishly, as she let go of her brother, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Cheers Gin." He stated, rather happy to be breathing again.  
  
"So what's with the crash landing sis ?" Ron asked, figuring he wasn't getting any sleep until what ever crisis this was, was dealt with.  
  
"Urrrggghhhh! Hermione's after me Ron. You've got to help me! Please she going to devour me !" A frantic Ginny pleaded as she grabbed hold of her brother and shook him, to further emphasis her point.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhh Ginnyyyyyyyy ....... Sttttttop !" Exclaimed a rather rattled Ron.  
  
"Ohh sorry......" Ginny stated as she kindly stoped shaking him.  
  
"Gin, I'm sorry I really would like to help you, but I'm not going to get involved in a lovers quarrel." Ron sighed sympathetically.  
  
"What ?!" Screamed Ginny.  
  
"I'm sorry Gin, but if you've had a fight with your girlfriend, then its really best if you sort it out yourself." He replied kindly.  
  
"Hermione is NOT my girlfriend Ronald! " Ginny huffed, crossing her arms.  
  
"Gin, I'm your brother I love you unconditionally, you know it doesn't matter to me whether you like boys or girls or piranhas for Merlins sake! " Ron exclaimed.  
"Actually Gin, I really don't think its very healthy to keep denying it." He continued.  
  
"Nope your just going to have to talk to her yourself." Ron stated as he quickly pushed Ginny out the door and jumped back into his snugly warm bed.  
  
"Well I hope she's not planning on wearing THAT dress to the ball with me ! " Harry told his best friend, as he rolled over thoroughly offended and went back to sleep.  
  
'Hmmmpphh! Muggles !' Ron sighed to himself as he slowly shook his head.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Hmmmpphh " Giiny echoed her brothers sigh, as she sat down by the common room fire.  
  
She really couldn't out run Hermione for the rest of her life. Nope, they were just going to have to discuss this like proper adults, she decided.  
  
"Hmmmpphh" Ginny sighed again, as she waited for the older girl to arrive.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Gin, wake up" a gentle hand shook the young Gryffindor out of her light sleep.  
  
"Huh ?!" Ginny looked up to see a very distressed looking, pink lace and taffeta covered Hermione.  
  
Ginny broke out laughing.  
  
"Its not really that funny Ginny !" Grumped Hermione through gritted teeth, as she angrily crossed her arms and tapped her left foot.  
  
"Ha Ha ! Yes it is ! " Ginny choked out.  
  
"Ha Ha ! Merlin's Beard Hermione ! You look so cute !" Ginny exclaimed happily.  
  
"Grrrrggggghhhh !" Hermione growled as she sat down opposite Ginny.  
  
"Dress ups sucks huh ?!" Ginny laughed.  
  
"Yeah, you can certainly say that again! " Hermione grumped.  
  
"Dress ups s ......"  
  
"Gin !" Hermione warned.  
  
"He he." Ginny smiled.  
  
"Gin, ....... look I'm sorry okay." Hermione quickly stated, looking anywhere but at Ginny.  
  
"Why Hermione ? " Ginny asked quietly.  
  
"I ........ " Hermione spluttered, completely unsure of how to begin.  
  
" 'Mione I thought you said you weren't gay, cause ......" Ginny began.  
  
"I'm not. Well I didn't think I was ......... Arrrrgggghhhh ! This is all Professor Snapes fault !" Hermione snapped grumpily.  
  
"Ahhh sorry Hermione I'm really not following you, how did Snape make you gay ?! "  
  
"He tricked me into drinking some true love potion." Hermione sighed.  
"Ever since then all I can think about is you." She stated as she looked into Ginny's soulful eyes.  
"My dreams are filled with you, during the day I fantasise about you constantly. I miss you when your not beside me, I get jealous of anyone else in your presence. I want you so much its driving me mad." Hermione quietly admitted.  
  
"Wow." Ginny stated, thoroughly shocked by the words she had always longed to hear.  
  
"wow's right." Hermione stated.  
"I can't believe I feel for such an obvious trick !" She finished self-depreciatingly.  
  
"Ahh Hermione I ahhh hate to break it to you, but there is no such thing as a love potion." Ginny nervously explained.  
  
"What ?! But I made it my self ! I have the recipe here somewhere." Hermione exclaimed, as she began to get out of her seat to look for the damned thing.  
  
"'Mione you can be such a muggle sometimes !" Ginny laughed kindly.  
  
"You might have the recipe somewhere, but its obviously something that Snape made up. You cant bottle love, every good wizard knows that." Ginny gently stated.  
  
"But what about Professors Snape and McGonagall ?! " Hermione exclaimed, having hit on a loophole in Ginnys theory.  
"They even got married !" She finished smugly.  
  
"Why Hermione was that a proposal ?! " Ginny asked facetiously.  
  
"Just Joking !" She quickly added, as she watched the 6th year turn extremely pale.  
  
'Ohh ......" Hermione replied rather relieved.  
  
"Look Hermione Snape and McGonagall have been after each other for years, that was just a really good excuse which saved both their prides." Ginny stated.  
  
"Ohh ! But how ...... " Hermione trailed off very confused, and slightly worried.  
  
"'Mione I can only guess that Snape wanted to give you the freedom to fell something by making you believe you had no choice." Ginny stated.  
  
"Either that or it was just a mean trick, and what you felt wasn't real ." Ginny added, wanting to give the older girl an out.  
  
"No ........ " Hermione began as she looked directly at her young friend.  
"Whatever it was it felt so real ....... so right ." She stated quietly.  
  
"Well I hear they're giving out toaster ovens to new "converts" now " Ginny stated trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"So where do I sign then ?" Hermione laughed.  
  
"How about across my heart ?" Ginny offered.  
  
"Oh Gin ..... " Hermione whispered, as she lent across and captured the young Gryffindor's lips in her own.  
  
"I already have." She stated as she gently brought her young loves head to her chest.  
  
"Ohh Hermione." Sighed Ginny happily, nothing could upset her now, she was finally where she had always belonged.  
  
"So Ginny " Hermione stated as she stroked her girl's silky locks.  
"About my book ......... "  
The End 


End file.
